The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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