just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
