Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
