i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
