So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize