wakey wakey hands off snakey
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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