i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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