Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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