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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?

  (760): View more from California

  You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.

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• (772): View more from Florida

  I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.

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• (212): View more from New York

  I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go

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• (714): View more from California

  Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?

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• (210): View more from Texas

  It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree

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• (406): View more from Montana

  We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.

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