last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
