Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
