My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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