Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
