he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
