did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
