Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
