Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
