She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you win again, gameday.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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