Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
