i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
