Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
