Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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