10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
