Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I am available for nakedness
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
