I must be too annoying 4 u.
You made me cry and you don't even care
that's an acceptable place to lick
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
