normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
