wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
