why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
