And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
