i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
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