if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Success! We fucked roommates!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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