My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
