THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You can't special order awesome
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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