So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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