Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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