were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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