weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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