Its about making memories worth repressing
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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