theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
