Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize