I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize