Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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