even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize