From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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