we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
its liver damage thursday
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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