Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Boobs are out for the taking
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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