Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
The ass gains better be worth it
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
