I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize