if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
This show inspires me to have sex in space
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
