Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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