You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
