her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
