"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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