I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
