I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize