I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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