There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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