He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
