At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
