WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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