i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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