You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
