Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
What's dad's email?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.