is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I have already put on my inside pants.