is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
