What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
