remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
