this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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