Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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